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Thursday, November 16, 2006 

My hands are tied

There are so many unknowns in the world of church planting that at times, it's just not that funny. When I was in an established church with a somewhat established budget, I could basically do whatever I needed to do (within certains boundaries) and know that if I over spent it would get covered. Now...well...I'm the one covering my overspending (if that makes any sense) A few of the unknowns:

1.) Where are we gonna find a sound man for January? Up until now we've been paying a guy to engineer sound for us just so we didn't have that lurking fear in the background that the sound was gonna suck. He's done on the 3rd and then we are on our own. He may be able to fill in once in a while but definitely not on a regular basis. So ya...what to do.

2.) Where are we gonna find a bass player for the 3rd? This one is a little more urgent and we have followed all of our leads and each ended up as a dead end. We have two weeks and the pressure has the ability to get under one's skin.

3.) How are we gonna finish paying off our sound system and getting enough money to pay for rent as well as the bills that we have accumulated over the last few months?

There just really aren't a lot of answers and trust me, I know all of the right answers like God will provide and just have faith....I tell myself that about every 5 minutes. I'm not writing this in freak out mode...just a fact that church planting is a crazy and psychotic path to take. If I didn't have an extremely clear call from God and that feeling inside of me that if I was to stop doing that that I'd be disobeying in some degree or another, I may have already bailed. But the fact that those two things are in front of me and that the reality that I actually like the feeling of not knowing all of the variables ahead of time in some sick and twisted sort of way, I can still run full steam ahead.

What I remind myself is that this is God's dream. And because of that, he's the one that has to figure out all of the things that are impossible. If impossibility is the open door for God's intervention, then all I can do is wait for God to step in and prove himself. It's seeing this unfold that really gets my blood pumping!

I feel like you just wrote what is in my mind! Crazy. I laugh every once in a while and tell my wife we are going to plant another church cuz the one we are planting now is too hard!!! laugh. Am praying for you.

Ya dude, I hear ya. I'm trying to just leave it all in God's hands but for some reason I'm not doing a good job at it. Yesterday I woke up with a migraine because of all the stress. Messed up man!!!

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