Contagion

One of the hardest things I've experienced so far with TXC is finding a healthy tension between encouraging people to live more like Jesus and giving them time to change (or giving God time to change them). It's way too easy to slip into pharisee mode and declare that "if you don't change...you're done! And God won't love you anymore!" I don't think I've said these exact words but I've had an attitude that could be equivalent to them at times. I've had to learn the hard way how easy it is for me to get to that extreme and through a few errors I now know when I need to take things extremely slowly so my little pea brain doesn't start thinking that I've got it all figured out.

I know that as a pastor, part of my responsibility is first to be taking steps towards Jesus in my own life and then to be encouraging others to do the same. I try to be as open as I can with my personal struggles with different things in my life and let people know I'm not perfect but I'm trying my best to move towards Jesus. It's just hard for me to know how to navigate through the waters of encouraging people to move forward but not becoming a pompous freak at the same time.

What I'm learning is that it's not my job to change people. Period. It's my job to lead people towards Jesus, but if they don't want to move, I can't do anything about it. I'm learning that I can't get frustrated when people don't want to move ahead. I have to be able to trust that God is in control and I don't have to get my little fingers in there and mess it all up. I can only hope and pray that my mistakes will one day be redeemed and,in the future, I will be more attentive to what God is saying to me and stick to what is my responsibility and let God be in control of what is already his in the first place.

One of the hardest things with being a pastor is not having all the answers for people when they are hurting and confused.

About 5 years ago, there was a youth pastor that I knew of that had been married for a few years. They were a happy couple and seemed to be picture perfect. They were driving up to Kamloops when they hit some black ice, the truck went out of control and flipped over quite a few times on the highway. She ended up dying in his arms. What do you say to that? He ended up getting remarried last year and seems to be happy again but the memory and pain has to still be there. Imagine the questions, the anger, the hurt, the hopelessness. Where was God?

On monday, a 2 year old baby died by choking to death on a rubber ball. What do you say to that? My little girl is 2. I would freak out! That little girl that is now with Jesus had an auntie that she never knew.

About 5 years ago, her auntie died in the arms of her husband on a trip up to Kamloops.

This little girl's mommy (if you haven't pieced it together - the sister of the girl who died 5 years ago in the arms of her husband) is now left with no answers. "Where are you God? Why me? Do you hate me? 5 years ago she lost her sister in a freak accident. 5 days ago, she lost her 2 year old daughter in a freak accident.

I don't have all the answers. I know God is there but there is nothing I can say to change the gut wrenching cry of someone who wants answers. I never had to be there for this woman. But if I had to, all I would be able to do was listen and cry with her.

Sometimes, God is found when we learn to close our mouths, listen and walk through the valley with the broken.

WARNING!!! The following post is a rant! If you don't want to see my negative side and wish to continue thinking that I'm the most positive, smiley and hopeful person you know...I'm good with that. Just don't read this post because you're hopes and dreams of who I am are about to get crushed!

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So a few months ago I was given some giftcards to restaurant in town (which will remain nameless. Those who've been here before will know where I'm talking about!). The manager (owner?) gave her 4 - $10 gift cards to give out and a whole bunch of flyers to promote a "deal" they are having. Well as time went on, we kept forgetting to give out these cards and today we decided to use them, seeing they expire on Monday. We figured maybe we should test the place out before we promote it :) Good thing we did.

We arrived and it was very cool. Funky waterfall. The decor was dark and rich. Had a cool vibe. We got seated and began to notice things right away without even trying to pick it apart - they just started happening and we had to notice!

The waitresses were all younger girls...young adult age. The only problem is that they all were acting like they had just got out of bed or were up all night partying. I don't know. The place was very cool but it needed some life...that's where the waitresses could have made it happen. They didn't.

We ordered our food. Bek ordered a vanilla milkshake, Riley got chocolate milk, Emma got apple juice and I got diet pepsi. When the milk shake arrived...the whip cream on top was sour. It was disgusting. Riley's chocolate milk was regular milk with, what looked and tasted like, a tiny squeeze of chocolate sauce added into it. My first pop was alright...my refill was flat. I never finished it.

While waiting for our food, the waitress brought out crackers for the kids, just in case they were starving from having to wait for so long to get our food. This is almost laughable as I type this...just ridiculous. So the kids ate the crackers...and we waited for our food. And waited.

I should add that there were about 6 tables with people at them. As we waited, we watched people return garlic toast, flat pop, etc. I was like "What's going on here?"

The food showed up. The kids pizza looked like it had been microwaved. It was supposed to be cheeze pizza. It was flat bread, burnt in the oven, with what seemed like 5 cups of sauce on each little piece of flat bread and a few pieces of unmelted cheese scattered overtop. It was messy and just gross. The only good thing about their meal was the fries were seasoned and actually good. Our food then showed up - potato skins and artichoke dip in a bread bowl. It looked delicious. The artichoke dip actually tasted really good. The issue was that in a very deep and big bread bowl, 1/4 of the bread had been dug out! So we were excited until we each ate two chips and the dip was all gone! The potato wedges looked good but were deep fried and had no flavor whatsoever.

In the end, the best part was the chocolate they brought us after we paid. It really was a joke. I just couldn't believe it. And I know it was free for us but come on - even if something is free- if it sucks, are you really going to go back? You'd have to pay me to go back there. My conclusion is that there is a serious management issue going on. Either that cook was making stuff the way that his manager told him to or he just flat out sucked. Either way, the manager/owner needs Chef Ramsay to come in there and kick some bullocks. I'm convinced if this place was in England, it'd be making Ramsay some money by being on his show.

I learned something today. Maybe I'm a freak but I compare almost everything that has to do with customer service to TXC. I just believe with all my heart that a guests' first impression is what will determine if they come back or not. And by first impression, I mean as soon as they get onto the theatre patio. If they walk into the theatre and there is no one that is genuinely excited to see them, even an incredible gathering won't bring them back. I've been to churches where I've walked in, sat down for the service and left at the end and had not one person say a single word to me. Maybe some people like that...but I'd argue not very many. I think that is lazy and just not called for. At the same time, you could have a terrible gathering and the best front end team ever and people aren't going to come back. It's the whole thing. If the food was amazing today and the servers were still lackluster, I would still be leary of going back. The servers make the whole experience that much more enjoyable.

Sundays are one part of what we do at TXC. I think we do an incredible job of welcoming guests. I think our music is bar none the best I've experienced in the churches that I've been a part of. Our communication of biblical truth is getting better as the weeks go by. Our kids stuff is just going to get better in the future. But we can't let this stop us from learning and growing and changing and taking risks to connect with people in new and fresh ways.

So in the end, our kitchen nightmare turned out to be a positive learning experience. It's just too bad that a cool place like this is going to go broke because of the management. Let's not find ourselves in the same situation and stay focused on doing whatever it takes, short of sin, to reconnect people to Jesus!

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End of rant! So how does it feel to know who I "really" am? :) See you tomorrow!

A few posts here and here talk about the experience of the first time guest at your church. Let me know what you think. For what it's worth, we try and very hardest to filter everything we do through the experience of the first time guest. We definitely don't have it all figured out so if you've got some insight, please let me know!

Read this post and go to the website to understand the context of this post.

The only "really nice" car I've owned was one I actually never owned. It was a '98 Neon and my parents "bought" it for me for a year and said I had to take the payments over after that. I ended up getting married so just prior to that, they took the car back after two months and gave us a '88 honda accord. Prior to the Neon I had an 11 passenger '87 gmc van given to me that was an absolute piece of crap that cost me a fortune in gas to run. After the '88 accord we bought a '92 civic in our first year of marriage and then 3 years ago we traded it in for a '99 chevy venture minivan. And the whole time...I've wished I could have a sweet ride.

Why is that? What is it in me that has this need to own a really nice vehicle so people can look and me and think I'm a really cool person? The fact is that my minivan is awesome and suits our family just great. But it definitely isn't cool. I don't care how much you try and justify the "cool factor" in owning a minivan. If that's you, we may be able to help out with you getting some professional help!

JCC stands for "Junky Car Club" and it's an effort to get people to drive cars that are less expensive and don't require high payments equal to a month's worth of rent so that they can have more money to give away to those that need it! What a novel concept! The irony of it all is that the junkier your car...the cooler you are! But the idea is to have less so others can have more.

I read the following post here today and it got me thinking some more just about how, as Christians, we have a responsibility to be good stewards of the earth that God gave us live on. But why is it that we don't view taking care of our world a spiritual activity? Shouldn't it be? Just a thought...


"For those of you into preserving the earth and good stewardship of the world in which we live, here is an interesting article on bottled water from Fast Company. Here is a summary of the article from urbana.org.

• Last year, Americans spent $15 billion on bottled water -- more than we spent on movie tickets or iPods. This year that is expected to be $16 billion.
• Water is basically free, and for now more or less abundant in most of the U.S.
• Buying bottled water is essentially buying convenience.
• 24% of the bottled water Americans buy is repackaged tap water created by Coke and Pepsi.
• Americans drink more bottled water than milk, or coffee, or beer.
• Americans went through about 50 billion plastic water bottles last year, 167 for each person.
• Americans throw 38 billion water bottles a year into landfills. (Over $1 billion worth of plastic which could have been recycled -- only 1/4 of all the bottles are recycled by consumers).
• It's easier for most Americans to get as much drinking water from Fiji as they want, than it is for over half the people of Fiji, where the water is bottled yet safe drinking water for the local population is scarce.
• If the water we use at home were to cost what even the cheapest bottled water costs, our monthly water bills would run $9,000. (Point is: we pay a lot for what is available for almost nothing.)
• Most of the world's bottled water is dominated by four companies: Pepsi, Coke, Danone, and Nestle.
• Within a decade, American consumption of bottled water is expected to surpass soda. Maybe that's a good thing for health reasons. But is it good stewardship?
• One out of six people in the world does not have a safe, dependable source of drinking water. That's a billion people.
• Each day, 3,000 children die from diseases caught from tainted water.

And before we argue about the cleanliness of tap water, check out this paragraph: "We buy bottled water because we think it's healthy. Which it is, of course: Every 12-year-old who buys a bottle of water from a vending machine instead of a 16-ounce Coke is inarguably making a healthier choice. But bottled water isn't healthier, or safer, than tap water. Indeed, while the United States is the single biggest consumer in the world's $50 billion bottled-water market, it is the only one of the top four--the others are Brazil, China, and Mexico--that has universally reliable tap water. Tap water in this country, with rare exceptions, is impressively safe."

And this line: "If you bought and drank a bottle of Evian, you could refill that bottle once a day for 10 years, 5 months, and 21 days with San Francisco tap water before that water would cost $1.35."

I drink a lot of water. Most of it from the purifier on my tap. This article will definitely make you think about the money invested in bottled water when so many thousands die daily because they have no clean water."

Around 3 years ago, I kept getting this strong impression that I believe was God telling me "Get Ready! Something huge is about to happen!" And this wasn't just a one time thing...it was constant.

At the time I was a youth pastor and I thought it had to do with the youth ministry I was leading. So I kept telling the youth to get ready. Then I took on the young adults at the same time and thought that it had to do with the young adults. And then came the dream for TXC...

I really had forgotten all about that...until last night.

We were talking about the positive things from Sunday and two things jumped out at us and Dave reminded me about what I felt 3 years ago.

Donovan's mom came to our gathering for the first time on Sunday. Afterwards she told Donovan that she couldn't put her finger on it but that she just had this strong feeling the whole time that there was something going on underneath the surface that we couldn't see. It was like a pot of water that was just at the point of boiling over. She said she could feel the growth (even though, to the naked eye, it's obvious that we aren't huge in numbers)

Then the conversation with "Joe" when he was encouraging us to keep our authenticity when we grow...then he added "And you WILL grow"

Then I flashed back to a conversation I had with a guy that came for the first time around 2 months ago. He said the same thing...that he can sense that this is about to take off.

This gets me nervous, excited, freaked out, amped up and everything else in between to think about what I heard God say 3 years ago and then to see all of these "coincidences" starting to line up.

I honestly don't know what to expect. Last night was one of the most crazy lead team meetings that we've had in a while as we started to talk and prepare for something that is essentially unknown. All we know is that TXC is God dream and we feel at a very intense level that He is going to do something that we can't even imagine.

So my encouragement to you and I...

Get ready.

I think in order to be a church planter, you've gotta be a little nuts. You gotta have a few screws loose to think that, with God's and a ton of other people's help, you can help in starting a church that lasts. I was talking with my old senior pastor (from our sending church) the other day and he said he brags about his old youth pastor that was as dumb as a sack of nails to think that he could plant a church in Mission...but he's doing it. I laughed and had to agree. I was off my rocker! I wasn't thinking straight...and I'm still not. I still believe beyond anything that God is going to do something HUGE through our little church that meets in a movie theatre. In fact, I know he's already doing it. Yesterday was verification of that fact.

I met a guy for the first time that was there for the second time...we'll call him "Joe". He had come two weeks ago with his wife who had been once before. The freaky thing about two weeks ago was that it was our first week without a full band and it was just a more mellow week. Not too much hype to "impress" anyone. So I was a little nervous to hear his story. I was expecting to hear that he had seen and heard better and that he wouldn't be back. What I was about to hear was exactly what I needed.

He proceeded to inform me that he lived in vancouver (He sleeps over with his wife at his inlaws house on Saturdays now so he can come out to TXC) and that he was extremely hesitant to come to a church, especially one that was small like ours. But his wife had come and told him that he needed to at least check it out. So he came. No band. No flair. The word he used was one that I have repeatedly heard over and over when our church is referenced.

"Refreshing." I hear that word when someone is in extreme heat and jumps into a cold lake. Hardly do I hear it used in conversation. But that's the word he used. For some reason that word is so encouraging to me. Someone that hasn't been to church in a few years decides to take a chance on church again...maybe even God. We're nervous because we've really got nothing to offer anyone as far as "cool" is concerned. We're just normal, everyday people that are in pursuit of Jesus.

In the end, that's what he said was the thing that appealed to him...the honesty and authenticity of those leading. The fact that we're open with the reality of being in process as well...works in progress.

He also had words of encouragement as well. He challenged me to never lose sight of what makes us who we are right now. That as we grow (he made sure I knew that it was going to) we don't get caught in the whirlwind of it all and become someone we're not. To be honest, I've found myself moving away from that at times already. I've allowed my religious Pharisaical side to emerge and I've treated other people as lower than myself. And I've had to learn and keep moving forward. I'm in need of God's mercy and grace just as much as the next person.

To the second time guest...Joe...thank you! Thank you for the reminder. Thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for the renewed passion to continue to be who we are as a church. We exist for Joe and we're seeing God do some incredible things through the little that we have. I'm amazed and humbled to know that I get to be a part of this thing we call The CrossCurrent!

the day that the dream for TXC was branded onto my heart. It was March 6 of last year and I was sitting in my office at APA and it basically paralyzed me. I started writing and writing like a madman about what the possibilities could be. I talked to my pastor about it and put the future of the dream of his hands, saying that if he didn't believe it was from God that I would let it die then and there. He felt it was a God thing and I started to move forward.

I figured SilverCity would be WAY to expensive or that someone else would already be in there but I decided to pick up the phone that very day and try it out for the heck of it. As it turned out, Cineplex worked with churches and gave them a great deal and I basically made a tentative agreement on the spot. What's crazy about this is that I hadn't been out to the Junction hardly at all, except to watch a few movies. I couldn't even remember the last time I was out there.

By this time, the blood was pounding through my veins and I could hardly see straight I was so ecstatic about the possibilities. As I drove out there my mind was racing and, even though nothing was even close to being a possibility, I felt like something was on the verge of happening. As I drove into the Junction I had this overwhelming feeling like "This is it!" I called Bek and I couldn't even get my words out to form a coherent sentence. I just kept saying "This is it" (At this point, Emma was 3 weeks away from being born so she was in a different frame of mind, still excited though.)

From there we had this dream just exploding in front of us. Another messed up piece of the puzzle was the fact that I hadn't even passed my assessment or gone to the Church Planters Summit yet. We had no idea where the money was going to come from or how any of this would even work. We just knew that God had birthed this insane thing in us and we were going for it.

Up until this point I had never had this type of faith...the crazy faith that step out into the middle of nowhere and just expects God to show up because he said that he would. I've never felt this kind of excitement before and I had finally come to realization that this is why I was created...for this moment and the journey that lay in front of me.

And the rest is history. Yesterday I listened to talk from Bill Hybels regarding when he started Willow Creek in 1975 and his first point was, in regards to planting a church, "Make sure that you have a holy discontent and not just a 'hankering'" I fully agree with this. He said that if it's just something that you think looks like fun, you'll more than likely quit when it gets tough. I can honestly say that when the dream for TXC was birthed in me almost a year and half ago, I just couldn't shake it. It consumed me completely. And I can honestly say that today, there is nothing else that I would ever even consider doing that seeing this church become what God intends for it to be. Of course there are days where my rationale self kicks in and I think "What on earth am I doing?! Who do I think I am? Planting a church from scratch?"

And then I remember that day...the day my life fell apart in the best way imaginable with a dream that changed the direction of my life forever. I'm so excited for what God is going to do and is already doing through our church.

Dream huge! Don't let your fear of "what might happen" stand in the way of what God could do in and through your life. Following God into the deep end is one of the most frightening and exhilarating things that you will ever do. Don't settle for comfort. Don't let the people around you tell you that it's impossible and it can't be done. If you have that holy discontent for something and you feel like there is nothing else on earth that you could imagine yourself doing...do it! You're life and view of God will never be the same!

I just got back from "Transformers" and it was an awesome movie! But this isn't a post about the movie, this is a post about how many people there were in Theatre #2. Right now we are in Theatre #1 and it seats about 225-250. It's a good size for us at this point. We don't fill it but with the use of barriers and having people sit together there is a good vibe with the people that come.

Last week, Donovan and I went into #2 and just dreamt about what it would look like. For some reason it feels absolutely huge...almost like an impossibility. And then tonight happened.

The place was packed to the rafters. If you showed up any later than 30mins early, you would be hard pressed to find a seat. The energy was crazy. Any funny parts and the whole place erupted. I went out to go to the washroom and when I came back in I just stood there and looked up at all the people and felt like "This will be us...2x over on Sunday mornings"

And that is a crazy thought. To be honest is scared me a bit and at the same time. It just seems so impossible. How in the world would that ever happen in a city the size of Mission? It's definitely not going to happen because of how cool we are or the show that we put on because there just really isn't any of that. It's gotta be God. We've stated from the beginning that the only hope we have of seeing TXC go anywhere is if God steps in and makes His dream a reality. We're doing our best to listen to what he is telling us and be obedient but in the grand scheme of things, what we do won't get us anywhere. We need the supernatural. We are so freakin' small and incapable left to our own devices. Someone once told me this cheesy but true saying that says "God isn't interested in your abilities; He's interested in your availability." A lot of days all I've got is availability and I'm trying my best to offer that each and every day.

There's a part in Transformers where Sam and Mikaela just realized that his car was an autobot and she is hesitant to get in, now that she knows what it is. Sam looks at her and says"In 50 years when you are looking back on your life do you want to have to say that you wished you would have gotten into the car?" With that, she starts walking towards the car.

All I know is that I'm getting in the car. It scares the snot out of me at the best of times. Looking at 350 empty seats is one thing; looking at 350 full seats is another. How do we see 350+ movie goers become followers of Jesus? We're on the road to figuring that out!

It's been so nice having this week off! It's true, I don't do a lot of physical labor and pretty much sit in a chair all day, whether it's on the computer or out for lunch/coffee with someone. However, my brain never shuts off. Whether it's dreaming about the future, writing a message, counseling someone, solving the newest problem to arise, or whatever else comes my way, generally church consumes my brain.

This week I set out to not think about it at all. I didn't fulfill that goal completely as I had a few thoughts while I was camping but for the most part my brain was shut off. I even left all my books that had to do with church at home.

The funny thing is that after a week of not thinking about anything, I'm itching to get back into it. I feel rested and refreshed and am looking forward to starting back up on Monday morning at the "office". I'm glad I chose to be away from TXC tomorrow as it gives me that anticipation to keep going strong the rest of the summer. The crew is going to do awesome and I can't wait to hear the stories of the day!

Just got back this morning from camping and man does it feel good to be home! We had a great time. The weather was amazing and that always makes for a good trip. We realized something this year: Camping with two little kids isn't relaxing. It's fun, but it's not relaxing. I'm looking forward to the day that I can send them off on their bikes to play with friends while I sit down and read a good book or take a nap. Not much of either on this trip.

I also successfully stayed away from facebook while I was gone. I have the capability to do stuff on it through my phone but I resisted the temptation!

I had another realization (I realize this everyday, but this was the end of it!) while camping: I'm way to freakin' fat! I realized this when I was trying to put my socks on while sitting on the air bed and not being able to lean far enough forward to do so without passing out! So, as a public declaration on this blog, the beginning of my journey to being healthy (not just skinny) starts this Monday! I will weigh 190lbs by Christmas and be able to put my socks on without having a heart attack! I'm even going to put this in my events on Facebook so I remember!

Let the race to being able to put my socks on begin!

Ah yes...the week I've been waiting for...my week of camping. We just finished getting back from Cultus Lake scouting out our campsite. For the last 3 years in a row we've got the same campsite and this year it's looking like we'll get it again. There is nothing that I love more than to just be out in the woods with a campfire roaring, big piece of meat on my plate that I just grilled over the fire, all the bugs and dirt that are in my big piece of meat...Nothing like it! This will be the first year we've gone having two kids that are walking around so it's gonna be an adventure. We're going to have 4 days of just our little family sitting around, doing nothing and having a blast together.

I'm also going to attempt something ridiculous. I'm going to be unplugging from the electronic world for the whole time. I'll check my phone every once in a while to see if the world is ending but other than that I'm going to detox. Yes I know...all you haters think I can't do it. We'll see.

This will be my first Sunday away from TXC since we started. We had an amazing day today and with the staff that I've got, I'm honestly not worried on single bit. They are incredible and will probably do better without me there! As much as I just really want to go so I can be with my friends, I think it's a good reminder for me that this thing doesn't depend on me. I'm not the hero. I think I already realize this but it'll be good to not be there and hear the great reports afterwards.

So this is me signing off for the week. Have fun and try not to get hit by a bus!

Seth made a good point over on his blog. I think this can apply to the "emerging" church too. I don't really classify myself apart of the whole emerging thing and yet I'd consider ourselves a church that is emerging...continually growing and changing. One of the dangers with being a new church that is doing new things and not incorporating old traditions is that we can push against the old ways of doing things that we forget to run once we've got momentum. It's hard work when you're cultivating new ground...not everyone likes it. You have to push against old and comfortable ways of doing things. Often you have to question why people value what they value. Do we really have to sing Battle Hymn of the Republic to make you happy? Can't you sing that in the shower and get the same effect?

The rub comes when the momentum shows up and there is no longer any need to push anymore...people see the vision and are willing to run towards it with you...but you want to push some more...it's more fun. You've tasted the blood of seeing people squirm and you like it. Having most everyone on your side is too easy. There's a pride in knowing some people don't like you (yes...messed up but true for some). And without even realizing it, you become what you originally started pushing against...you just can't see it.

I don't want to get stuck pushing so hard and so long that I forget to run