Contagion

Tonight was our UnderCurrent and it was the first one in a few weeks. We've had an interesting time getting it off the ground, just with family stuff coming up and all. This week, Ryan was sick in the hospital so the two remaining couples paid him a visit in the hospital. To be honest, (not that Ryan being sick was a good thing) I liked doing that more than having a "canned" discussion about something "spiritual". I think that connecting with each other exactly where we are at is the most spiritual thing we could do. Imagine if we walked into the hospital room with our DVD player and said "We're gonna watch our nooma video and talk about God tonight because that's what we do!" Ryan would never come back. I'm way more of a "let's just be real" kind of guy. I love God and because of that, I always know that my conversation will more than likely steer in His direction...I don't really have to plan for it to happen.

Afterwards we went out for coffee with Mark and Trish (the other couple) and she said something interesting. She recalled the first time they visited I said something to the effect of "Our lives are messy and that's okay. If yours isn't...you may not be human. We want to invite you along with us as we walk towards Jesus and become the people he wants us to be" (sounds like something I'd say) But she was just saying that it was refreshing to hear someone say that it's okay for life to be messy...that there aren't always a lot of answers (at least not the ones that we are looking for or want to find all the time).

When she said this I found it interesting. I don't know if it's just because I've been thinking this way for a long time but I just assumed that other churches are like ours. I'm not sure why anyone would ever feel the need to portray that they have their crap all together. I don't know how anyone would think people would find that attractive. I know I wouldn't follow someone that wanted me to think that because I'd know they were full of you know what immediately.

I was telling them that I really don't know what I'm doing. It's almost comical sometimes! I mean, I could call up some really cool sr. pastor guy and ask him how to do the whole "sr. pastor thing", but does he really know what he's doing either? I know, some of you can't handle the fact that I don't have it all together. That I have issues just like you. That some days I wake up and am not sure why I do what I do. That some days I doubt God. That some days my life is a mess.

But that's who I am sometimes. I don't have the magic formula for this thing. I'm in the process of becoming who Jesus has created me to be just like you and we're on this journey together.

And just like Mark and Trish, I love being a part of TXC because of that...the freedom to become rather than the restriction of being who others "think" I should be. This freedom belongs to you as well...will you walk in it?