Why men hate going to church
I'm just about finished reading this book and I have to say, I really like it. It resonates with something deep inside of me. Basically it says that men hate going to church because it's geared towards women. It dismisses (largely) the masculine side of Jesus (warrior on a white horse, clearing the temple, confronting religious people, etc) and instead focuses on the feminine side of Jesus (loving eachother, sharing our problems, relying on God, being intimate with God, holding hands in a circle when we pray). Some of this stuff will really tick a lot of religious people off but it makes complete sense to me. I REALLY DISLIKE holding hands in a circle with a bunch of other dudes that I don't know from a hole in the wall and have sweatly palms cause they are as nervous as I am that someone's gonna walk in and see us being "intimate" with each other. Call me whatever you want, but it's just the way I'm wired I guess.
The author (David Murrow) goes on to talk about how women's greatest fear is not having relationships with other people and how a man's greatest fear is losing his independence. Now think about it...when you go to church, what are you expected to do? Join in relationship with other people (calming the women's fear) and lose your independence by depending on God (aggitating the man's greatest fear). There are a lot of things that you can't escape, like depending on God, but there has got to be more of a balance in how we approach things.
He notes that Christian men talk more like women than they do like "normal" men. Talking about intimacy, love, personal relationships with Jesus, etc. He observes that most men equate personal relationships to those they are connected 'inimately' with. So why would a man want an intimate and personal relationship with Jesus? Most men go running.
The recent rise of homosexuality in the church and the publicity of sexual abuse makes men cringe. First off, they don't want their kids even near that stuff. Second, they don't want themselves to be near that stuff. So they go running.
It's my personal conviction that if the man can be lead to see that Jesus wants to lead him in a life altering adventure of risk, mystery and ultimately, building a kingdom (the kingdom of God), he will lead his family to Jesus. We see it time and again. The wife follows Jesus and yet the man remains hard and calloused to the gospel. But when the head of the home (sorry to all of you who don't see it this way) decides to follow Jesus, the rest are more than likely to follow as well. It seems to be the natural order.
At The CrossCurrent, we are going to make sure men are one of our primary focuses, along with kids. We will make sure that we are doing our best to be excellent (most men I know hate mediocrity) in everything we do, our advertising will be geared towards men (read: no flowery frilly stuff) and we are going to be dreaming about how we can more effectively get men integrated into the life of the faith community without asking them to check their manhood at the door in exchange for a passive, weak life of never accomplishing anything that leads to greatness. I want to see men challenged and asked to risk their life for the gospel. I want to see them challenged to pursue greatness. To be challenged to life their life to the fullest. To risk; to make life altering adventure a core value in their life.
If real men can get the guts to rise to the challenge, I believe we will have an epidemic on our hands. Our problem won't be how to get men into the church, it will be how to release them to tranform their world fast enough.
The author (David Murrow) goes on to talk about how women's greatest fear is not having relationships with other people and how a man's greatest fear is losing his independence. Now think about it...when you go to church, what are you expected to do? Join in relationship with other people (calming the women's fear) and lose your independence by depending on God (aggitating the man's greatest fear). There are a lot of things that you can't escape, like depending on God, but there has got to be more of a balance in how we approach things.
He notes that Christian men talk more like women than they do like "normal" men. Talking about intimacy, love, personal relationships with Jesus, etc. He observes that most men equate personal relationships to those they are connected 'inimately' with. So why would a man want an intimate and personal relationship with Jesus? Most men go running.
The recent rise of homosexuality in the church and the publicity of sexual abuse makes men cringe. First off, they don't want their kids even near that stuff. Second, they don't want themselves to be near that stuff. So they go running.
It's my personal conviction that if the man can be lead to see that Jesus wants to lead him in a life altering adventure of risk, mystery and ultimately, building a kingdom (the kingdom of God), he will lead his family to Jesus. We see it time and again. The wife follows Jesus and yet the man remains hard and calloused to the gospel. But when the head of the home (sorry to all of you who don't see it this way) decides to follow Jesus, the rest are more than likely to follow as well. It seems to be the natural order.
At The CrossCurrent, we are going to make sure men are one of our primary focuses, along with kids. We will make sure that we are doing our best to be excellent (most men I know hate mediocrity) in everything we do, our advertising will be geared towards men (read: no flowery frilly stuff) and we are going to be dreaming about how we can more effectively get men integrated into the life of the faith community without asking them to check their manhood at the door in exchange for a passive, weak life of never accomplishing anything that leads to greatness. I want to see men challenged and asked to risk their life for the gospel. I want to see them challenged to pursue greatness. To be challenged to life their life to the fullest. To risk; to make life altering adventure a core value in their life.
If real men can get the guts to rise to the challenge, I believe we will have an epidemic on our hands. Our problem won't be how to get men into the church, it will be how to release them to tranform their world fast enough.
