Contagion

I'm on holidays and it's beautiful. We're over on the island at Bek's parents house. They are all out and I'm home alone doing absolutely nothing and it sure is nice. Once I come back it will be back to super high gear so I'm revelling in this nothingness right now. We're going camping on Wedneday and we found out that it's supposed be sunny the whole time which is a total bonus seeing we thought it was going to rain. That will be good for me to get totally unplugged from technology and unwind even further.

I've been rereading "Visioneering" by Andy Stanley these last few days and it is incredibly, again. The last time I read it I was the lead youth pastor and it revolutionized the way I thought about the future. Now that I'm planting a church it is just reaffirming the vision that I've been given. This is a must read for everyone, especially church planters. If you don't know what to do or where to go, this will definitely be a catalyst in sparking something inside of you.

So I lied, I've been reading. It's in my blood. I'm trying to get done for camping so then I can "really" do nothing. So I won't be around here for the next few days. I'll be back next monday and fill you in on how my nothingness went.

Peace.

And it was really cool to see what it is generally going to look like. They are meeting in a theatre that is the same as ours (Silvercity) so it was almost identical to our setting. We learned some things that we will take with us and others we won't. The associate pastor was super cool and guided us around as we watchd their setup. Kinda freaked me out seeing how much needed to done and then seeing how many people we need but don't have yet. There are definitely some obstacles that we are going to have to overcome but now I'm super stoked to have our Sunday gatherings in a theatre. I really think it will help to communicate the vibe we are trying to get across.

A dude wearing hot pink cargo pants? I caught my first glimpse today and I gotta say it was hot! (those that know me will understand that pink on guys gets my gag reflexes going nice and good)

Despite that nasty show of indecency, I've learned something about fashion from this Festival. I undestand that not all te people here are from Mission but there is a large majority that are. And I've noticed that noone gives a rip what anyone else is wearing. There is no competition with regards to fashion. If anything it's a competition to be the least fashionable. For some it's a competition to see who can wear the least (gag). It's made me question whether or not I'm obsessed with brands. I've tried to argue that brands are better quality than no name stuff thus lasting longer in the long run. To some degree it's true but to the other degree it's not.

If there is one thing I've realized over the last few years is that everyone is insecure...EVERYONE. The people who say they aren't are usually the ones with the biggest problems. Kinda like the one that goes around advetising that they are humble...it just doesn't work. So I've had to come to the place of admitting that I've got insecurities...some bigger than others I know. So the question remains, what do we do with these insecurities? Is it possible to get rid of them? Is it possible to be a fully secure person? Is it possible that those who don't wear brands are just as insecure as those that do?

Can be the hardest thing when it comes to connecting with people. The other night we met a rad couple at centennial park in Mission. Bek was guiding the conversation in a somewhat spiritual direction when the lady's little girl came over needing to go pee. So that was that. There was a little bit of small talk after that but they were heading home. So what do you do in that situation? Do you give them a card and tell them to call if they ever have questions about God or need a friend? How soon is too soon when initiated another visit with them without freaking them out? Do we just keep going to the park until we run into them again?

When time isn't on your side it sucks when opportunities slip through you fingers. Or did it slip through? Maybe that was an opportunity we made the most of and perhaps it will have multiple parts. Perhaps if we had more time we would have screwed it all up. All I know is that being a missional Follower of Jesus is a lot harder and more rewarding than being a church goer. I'm sure these questions are just the beginning of a plethora to come. I think they are par for the course of living in the crosscurrent. The place where kingdoms collide will never be a comfortable place. However, I'm pretty confident that it's where life is meant to be lived.

We're moving. We felt from the beginning that if we were going to plant a church somewhere that we needed to live there. A huge part of being missional is loving your city. If you don't live there I'm not too sure how you can love it. We have tried every avenue available to us searching for a way that we could buy a house. No can do. It's just not possible right now and so we have to live with that reality for the next little while. God's had our back up till now so I don't doubt that when the right time comes, so will our house. For now...we rent.

We looked at one place and you'd have to pay me to live there. We scoured the newspapers for places but nothing jumped out at us. Then I remembered that a couple in our current church put their basement suite up for rent about a month ago, which I totally forgot about. So we called up and sure enough it was still available. We had heard rumors that the place was huge so we were getting all amped up. Turned out that the rumors were true. It's not like the place is absolutely massive, but for a basement suite it's pretty big. It's nice and open with 3 bedrooms and it's only 5 years old. The kicker is the backyard. It's two-tiered with a trampolene and a firepit. It's got huge cement patio so now I can go and get a patio set without the fear of it getting ripped off from the drugies.

It's kind of a wierd concept that we're moving out of Abbotsford. It kind of feels like the whole thing is getting finalized and the adventure is beginning. August 15th and we'll be in our new pad. I can honestly say that I am totally stoked to move to Mission. God has done some serious heart stuff in me over the last 6 months to the point of me not being able to wait to get out of Abbotsford. Let the endless packing of junk begin!

The last few days have been somewhat of a wake up call for me. With Riley going into the hospital and then us looking for a way to buy a house I realized how fast time flies. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the meaningless details of life that your kids grow up right in front of you without you even noticing. I came to the decision yesterday of what will make me successful in life. I could have the most successful church around but if my wife and kids can't brag about how much I love them I've failed. It's kinda harsh but I think everything else needs to be secondary to my primary role as husband and father. I think when I die if I've put the church before my family I won't have done what God has called me to do first and foremost and I wouldn't even want to know what He would say to me. So it means that I've got to guard my days off. It means that I've got to be intentional with the time I spend with my family. It means I have to invest in them and not just "be there" for them. It means that my character needs to line up with my actions.

It's not gonna be easy but in 25 years it will be worth every second, church or no church.

Well, the time is coming where we are going to have to start spending money for TXC. I'm super proud of our launch team and how each of us is committing ourselves to this new church with our finances. If we could keep up this trend as TXC gets of the ground, we will have an abundance to give away. But I guess we can't just keep seeing the bank account grow at this point in the short life our church. The reality is that we are 2 months out of our first preview gathering. Schikees! That's a crazy thought! With that gathering comes close to $40,000 worth of expenses. The big one is the sound system, which we will have to get started in the next week or so. It's nice to know that we have the money for it right now. It's just gonna be hard writing the cheque and seeing the balance say 0 (or pretty darn close to it!). I guess this is where faith comes in and trusting that if this God sized dream is in fact God's dream, he's gonna pull it off. And that's a good thing because I don't think I have any means of pulling it off on my own. It's fun and scary all at the same time.

On a different note, I went to the mission folk music festival orientation/training tonight and found out I'm on security! I think that's hilarious cause I've made fun of security guards my whole life. They always seem to be the guys that think they have something to prove and now I find myself being one of them. I think I need to go find some cuffs and a night stick.

Being a Christian takes on a whole different look and feel when you start trying to live missionally; when you see your role as playing a part in redeeming the community in which you live and not just going to church. I read something on another dude's website that said exactly what I've been thinking for a while. He said that he wants their church to be such a big part of the community that if they were to leave in 10 years, people would notice. That's what I want. I want us to care about Mission. I don't just want to be another church that comes in with their own agenda trying to "save" the people. I want us to genuinely care about the city and the people and play our part in making it the best place anyone could ever live. That's why we are doing this free BBQ and doing a gas giveaway in December. It's gonna cost us money (that we don't have yet) but it's worth it.

I think we've done a pretty good job and creating a Christian subculture that hides out behind the church walls waiting for people to come to us. We've put on events that "compete" with the world instead of jumping on board community events and meeting people where they are at. I could be way out in left field and this could just end up being a bomb but somehow I doubt it. I don't see how someone can deny a missional, passionate, generous, authentic and adventurous Jesus. We can say they've denied him this long but I don't think they have. I think they've denied the Jesus that we've portrayed to them by the way we live our lives. What would happen if we were to live our lives like this? What would happen if the Jesus people saw, reflected these five things? I think we might just have an epidemic on our hands.

I caught the tail end of "Hell's Kitchen" on Monday night and the chef that got kicked off said something that got me thinking a bit. Apparently he had quit his last job and put his life on the line and after getting kicked off said "You know what really sucks. Now I gotta find a job" For some reason I got what he was saying. With planting this church I feel like I'm putting my whole life on the line. I can't see myself returning to an established church. I feel like God has changed something inside of me in huge way and all I can see is planting this church. The thought sometimes comes up "What if this doesn't work...then what? Do I become an employee of SilverCity?"

I had a really good conversation with Rick Ball from CLCC on Tuesday. We were just talking about church and i was sharing some of my fears and excitement of planting a new church. Some days the fear of failure is so huge that I start second guessing why I'm doing this. The funny thing is that our first talk in the Sneak Peek gathering series is on the fear of failure. It's crazy how the "what if" prison guard stands there and taunts you, making you think that it could be a bad idea for you to attemp this new feat. Every morning I have to wake up and kick him where it counts and move on. I know without a doubt that I am supposed to do this. I know that there are gonna be people who think I am "intruding" on already claimed territory. I know it's not going to be easy, but I HAVE to.

Rick said something that stuck with me. "If you don't try, you'll probably live with the regret of not trying for the rest of your life. If you try and fail, at least you can say you tried. Chances are you, you won't fail. What have you got to lose?" Exactly...what do I have to lose? Maybe some pride. Maybe a job. But I HAVE to try. I KNOW I'd never be able to live with the fact that I quit before I even started because I was afraid of failure. I think it's time that prison guard got a beat down.

Well it's now half a day later and we're still sitting in our room eating junk food. It's just M&M's instead of cheesies. Yes I know I'm killing my kid but we're both bored. Actually Bek's here as well so it's a family affair now.

Riley slept pretty good in spite of the fact he was in a cage-like apparatus. The nurses were in and out all night and he just slept through all the poking and prodding. They diagnosed him with asthma, not pnemonia. It really sucks having to just sit there as your son gasps for breath. You wanna hit someone or at least blame them but it's not anyone's fault. Needless to say, he's joined the puffer club.

So here I am sitting on the side of a hospital bed eating cheesies with my 2 year old son @ 12am. He got pnemonia in Jan. which was nasty and we think he may have got it again. His breathing has been off all day and at 6:30 we decided to bring him in again knowing full well what would happen. What we didn't anticipate was being admitted to the hospital overnight. So after a bed of puke, thousands of short breaths and long 5 hours here we sit, faces full of cheese and ready to hit the sack. It's crazy the things you will do for your kids. You just wanna make all the pain go away but you can't. So we make a memory out of it. Bek goes home with Emma and Daddy has a "sleepover" with Riley.

I've heard that church planters have a tendency to get fat. All the stress and eating out with people begins to add up and before you know it, they are roley poley. That ain't gonna be me. Since I was 15 I've dreamt of getting a six pack of abs. ya...that didn't happen. 12 years later...nothin'. And I doubt I'll ever get there. Bek doesn't like what I look like when I'm super skinny. (Yes I know it's hard to believe, but I used to weigh 165lbs 3 years ago) But, I'm determined to not let myself get out of control.

That's why I got a gym membership at inform fitness a couple weeks ago. Last week I went 4 days and boy did I pay for that. I felt like someone ran over me with a steam roller. I was lifting like 15lb weights with all these big guys around me...it was good times.

Look out Arnie...here I come.

I'm finding it really hard to get back into the swing of things after being away on holidays. It was so good to unwind but now I find I'm not sure what to do. Don't get me wrong, I've got too much to get done in the next few days. Maybe it's just that I don't know what to do first. Time has flown by and the reality that we are starting monthly gatherings in two months is kicking in.

We are hoping to get out to SilverCity this Saturday morning with a few more from the launch team to check it out some more. We decided that because we want to be a church for those who don't have one, instead of having weekly "bible studies" that people who don't go to church will find boring, we are going to have weekly events that we will pay for as a means of starting new friendships with them. Along with that we will have weekly Undercurrents (our version of small groups) that people who want to connect in a little deeper can be apart of.

Anyways, as you can tell, my brain is pretty scattered so I'm gonna check out and play with kids.

The thought of not having an office in a few months is kind of weird. As a pastor I've had a "home" for all 7 years I've been at it. It's kind of become my comfort zone and has gotten to a place where I'd rather be in my office than out with people. Not having an office forces me to be where the people are. It makes things a little more difficult but I think I'll live:) In light of my need for mobility, I got a Motorola Q yesterday. I love toys and this one's got me pretty giddy. It will enable me to be in whatever coffee shop I like and stay connected. I'm still dreaming up some other ways that some of the other staff and I can stay connected over the net...possibly using net meeting. We'll have to see.

I just had my first bout of daddy rage today...no-it wasn't geared towards my kids. The story goes something like this...

We were at McDonalds in Mission. We had previously told Riley he could play in the play place after we ate...stupid move cause he wouldn't eat a bit until he played. So we played...kind of. We could have played if it weren't for a certain kid.

Riley was up at the very top of this tube structure when all of a sudden this kid crawled over to Riley and started screaming at the top of his lungs in his face. So Riley being the passive kid he is just yelled back "Too Loud!". This kid screamed even louder. He then proceeded to take Riley's hat and hit him with it and throw it down the tube. Of course, as he's getting roughed up, Riley starts to cry.

Meanwhile, his mom and dad were right beside me. The dad is kind of telling his kid to stop but all the while he's laughing. Too be honest the thought running through my head was "This guy's pretty big...I'm not sure I could take him." I know it's childish and just like this guys kid was behaving but until you have kids, you won't know what this feeling is like.

So after a few minutes of this garbage I said out loud "That's it" and started to climb into the structure. I got to the top and sent the kid down the slide and tried to coax my kid out.

Sometimes I don't think we give God enough credit as a Father. We gripe and complain when bad things happen to us even when we've been really really good. And then we wonder where God was in the middle of the whole thing. Just like I could see my son looking at my through the tears in his eyes saying "Come and get me out of this", I think God looks at us as we're stuck and I'm willing to bet he feels the same frustration and hurt as I did, if not more.

What I don't realize so many times is that this pain is part of me being shaped into the man I was born to be. I hate it when I'm going through it, but when I arrive at the other end I can see how far I've come. As much as I looked up and saw my son stuck in this tube being harrassed by a bully and wanted to knock his dad out, I know that Riley will go through so much more of this in his life and he needs to learn how to handle it properly. My heart freaks out when I see it but if I rescued him every time he would have no way to navigate through life without breaking down and crying.

I think maybe it's time I stop giving God such a hard time.

Just got back from camping yesterday...It was super relaxing. Suprisingly I didn't think about church once...it was a nice change from the normal bombardment of dreams that I have for this new church. Sure enough, my brain has started back up again. This summer will be nice though because I have holidays at the end of July and the end of August so I'll be able to shut down for a few days before this church gets off the ground.

It was fun just hanging out with my family. Watching my son run around playing with sticks and bugs, drinking citronella oil (a whole different post) and eating bugs was crazy to say the least. This time out was really good for me to just slow down and see life from his view. We played at the park, swam in the lake and threw rocks in the river. It made me see that sometimes I live my life far to fast and can tend to ignore him. I found myself wishing that we could stay in this stage for a little while longer so that I could give him every second I've got and watch him grow up instead of having him grow up right in front of me without me even seeing it. I'm gonna do my best to slow down and just enjoy life.

It was nice doing something spontaneous for a change. It ended up being a really expensive spontaneous decision seeing we bought a new, super huge 10 man tent, a new screen house and an extra night of camping on top of our original two nights. Tack on the food and icecream in there and you've got yourself some debt to work off. Despite all that, it was worth every penny. Did I mention I love my wife and kids and wouldn't trade them for the world (especially my hot wife)?

We are off to the Canada Day celebrations in Mission today. We want to be in the community as much as possible. We want to be a church that is helping to make the community the best place anyone could ever want to live.