Contagion

Our lead team just starting reading the book "Practicing Greatness" together. Originally I was going to bring a "leadership thought" to each of our weekly meetings...that lasted a week. So because our team has had a total of one nugget of wisdom from me, I decided that it's probably a good idea to have someone that has more experience and insight than I do teach all of us, myself especially included. I've already read the book so now I'm going through it more detailed with the team and it's been great so far, even though we're only a week in. The thought of being great seems to be upside down to what the Bible talks about. But the premise is that great leaders are humble, effective and willing to serve. They don't pursue greatness to be seen as great in the world's eyes. Rather it's the road to living in a way that points others to Jesus. Great leaders leave people better off than they were before the leader entered their lives. Yikes! I'm glad this is a process because I need the time.

The one thought that stuck out so far is the opening line "Deliberate mediocrity is a sin". I couldn't agree more. My tendency is to think of mediocrity in terms of how we do things with the church but what about in my life? How is my leadership of my family doing? Am I always setting an example for my kids or do I let certain things slide when I'm tired? Am I loving Bek the way I should or just when I feel like it? Am I modeling a life that points to Jesus or points to me?

These are challenging questions the list could go on and on. And if the truth is to be told, there have been areas that have been mediocre and the fall out of those has been evident. It's been a good wake up call and I'm looking forward to continuing to learn how to practice greatness with the rest of our team

You know...some days I love technology...other days I hate it with a passion. Today I hate it. I have two blogs...one is public and it's just where I'm at in a public kind of way...if that makes any sense at all. The other is private...well at least that's what I thought it was. It's just kind of a journal of where I'm at personally...in private kind of way. I don't post in it near as much as I should but last week I posted something that was eating me up inside, thinking that the only person that could ever read it was me...the guy with the password that no one else has.

Well, today I found out that either I made a HUGE mistake and didn't enable the "private" feature or blogger screwed up (they let you choose if you want it private or public...I checked private when I made it) and won't let me make it private. Nonetheless, I posted something that had names of people, something that I would NEVER make public if I knew it was going public because that's just nasty and has huge potential to hurt the people involved...but this was public. And I can't get out of it. It was there for the whole world to see and I risked these people's relationship with me, God and each other. And to be honest, I feel sick. This isn't meant to invoke guilt or anything like that...it's a public confession so that for anyone that happened to read that post knows that I was wrong. And I do really believe that. I made some harsh judgments and stereotypes that a pastor just shouldn't make. I was just flat out wrong. The fact that I thought those things makes me angry.

So I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but I'm sorry. I really am. I know you've already forgiven me but I gotta get this out publicly. You know who you are. I'm sorry.

This is exactly where my train of thought has been the last few weeks. Check the post out here

I just sat down and started to map out how we are going to achieve one of our more immediate dreams of growing to 1,000 people in the next 5 years. To be honest, when I thought about it prior to writing it down, it seems impossible. But now that I see how it could come together, it's definitely something that we can work towards in full confidence that, if this is what God wants for us and if he is the driving force behind it, we will see our dream become reality. Now I've got to sit down and map out how we will attain each of our stages in that growth. It's one thing to hope it will happen, it's another thing to plan for it to happen.

The interesting thing is that we were talking at our lead team meeting last night and Donovan brought up the fact the he really believes that we are going to have 50 new people become a part of our faith community this summer. If that was to happen, we'd be 1 year ahead of our yearly goals. And if you know anything about church life in the summer, that just doesn't happen, especially in a church our size. And because we are so new, we can be a little obscure to the people moving into town. But we've got this ridiculously insane idea that we will grow this summer.

It's funny...the church seems to be the only establishment that likes to justify why it shouldn't grow. Healthy things grow...maybe not over night, but they grow. We are working at getting healthier as the days go by and as we do that, I believe we'll grow. Not with people coming from other churches but with people that have either never been connected to Jesus or it's been a really long time since they've given him a chance.

It's out there...I know. But one of my motto's is "attempt to do things that are destined to fail if God doesn't step in".

We're praying like crazy that God steps in.

What I've realized over this last couple of weeks is that I don't know much. I've already made some mistakes in conversations with people and said some fairly stupid things that have put me right in the same category as every other pompous pharisee out there. I've realized that I'm impatient and I like to see people change very quickly. I think it gives me sense of accomplishment, like what I do as a pastor is justified because people's lives are being changed, even if it is with an iron fist. I'll give you a week to change instead of the lifetime that all the rest of us require. I tend to forget that there is a process...a type of walking towards Jesus. It's the process of becoming and that takes long for some than others.

What I'm not saying is that I'm good with everyone doing whatever they want, whenever they want. I can't be okay with that as a pastor because the Bible is my, and it should be our, compass for how we live our lives. I won't stop preaching the cross and that Jesus is the only person that can ever change our lives the way we need, and crave for, them to be changed.

What I am saying is that I need God to give me more patience with others. I need his mercy. I tend to be a very black and white person and all of you black and white types of people are cheering because you're the same way. But that isn't necessarily always a good thing. I'm not wanting that part of me to go away...I just need some balance. My tendency is to say "Choose God or don't...if you don't why are you coming to church and seeking God" In essence, if you don't want him...take a hike. That's a wrong attitude and that's something God's been showing me this last little while.

The reality is that we are all sitting in those seats on Sunday with things in our lives that aren't what God wants for us. So if we all took my challenge seriously, no one would be there next week. Yes, we all need to check ourselves to see where we are. But there's no need to bail on God because we aren't perfect. What I've failed to see is that someone can come to church, have stuff in their lives that is totally opposite to what God wants for them and still have this desire deep down inside of them to know who God is. It's that desire that I want to harness and be a catalyst to fan into flame.

I'm not saying it's okay to live your life however you want and I won't preach that. I'll preach the truth and it will more than likely hurt at times. But if that's what you choose to do, I want have the patience to walk with you and encourage that pursuit of God, having faith that, after I've preached the truth, He will reveal Himself to you and guide you to the place that you need to be in your life.

Please don't think I'm discouraged and down and out...I'm not. I'm just revealing a part of my journey of becoming who Jesus created me to be. Sure it's tough when I have to face who I really and not who I think I am. But it's good. The future is looking good and I know that I'm just being refined right now so that I'm more prepared for what is coming in the future. The ultimate conclusion of these last few weeks is that this is God's church. He is the one that will cause it to grow. We just have do whatever we know how to do to the best that we know how and to be willing to let him have us, change us and use us in the ways that he needs to in order to see this part of the world turned upside down

The word agenda is such an evil word in church. It makes the hair on our necks stand on end. I've heard many say that you should just love those who don't follow Jesus. Be friends with them without any hidden agenda. Is that possible for a Christ follower to do?

Now let me point out that agenda may not be the best word for what I'm trying to describe. I just can't think of an appropriate substitute at the moment.

When we become followers of Jesus we share his mission of reconnecting people to God. We have that mission whether we like it or not. If we don't want it, we shouldn't be following Jesus. So when we become friends with someone who isn't a follower of Jesus, should we want them to know Jesus? If we don't, why is that?

I am in no way condoning anyone saying to someone "I'll only be your friend if you follow Jesus". That's just ridiculous. What I AM saying is that in that friendship I believe that there should be a genuine desire for me to want my friend to know Jesus. It doesn't mean I have to preach at them and tell them they're going to hell or even invite them to church. It means that I need to keep in mind that they are watching me to see if there is anything different about me. I say I believe something...now do I live it?

I'm not sure if that's an agenda or not. I just don't think that it should be possible for someone who is genuinely following Jesus to have a friendship with someone and never have the thought cross their mind that they would like their friend to follow Jesus too.

When we launched TXC, one of our goals was to remove every barrier that would offend someone who wasn't connected to Jesus, with the exception of the gospel. The challenge is that the gospel will offend. Gospel simply means "good news" and yet it is such a huge challenge to the way someone is currently living their life. Like we've been talking about on Sundays, it's upside down in comparison to how we want to live our lives.

I think I had a test from God a few weeks ago to see if I would go as far as removing the message of Jesus as a barrier in order to have someone come to our church. I passed the test and didn't go that far...I won't go that far. I can't. But it still sucks. Because I see how it IS good news and yet Paul says that the gospel is foolishness to those who don't believe. It seems like complete lunacy to believe in a God that doesn't exist. I want so badly for people to be able to see God for who he really is and not who we think he is because of our tainted view of him due to our past experiences. The problem is that I can't make people do anything. I can't reveal who God is to anyone, only the Holy Spirit can do that.

I've realized in a new and fresh way today how desperately I need God to be active in our church. We have to experience and encounter Him. We all come from such drastically different backgrounds that I can't be the rockstar that saves the day...I just can't. I need more than anything for God to change my life and the lives of those who are seeking Him.

Sunshine. Long weekends. People away. Lowest attendance so far. Highest offering so far. Double our highest previous offerings. It's a reminder that small is big in God's reality. Hopeless is perfect for God because then he gets to be God. My faith has been stretched. God is definitely in control of TXC. There's a sense of anticipation in the air. We are pushing ahead with everything we've got. Something big is coming. It's the small steps stacked one on top of the other that lead to big. There is no easy way. There is no safe way. Easy and safe is boring. So we continue to navigate into the unknown. It's risky. It's dangerous. It's life altering. It's upside down.

It's where life is meant to be lived.

If I was buying a new SUV (or in my case, minivan) that last thing I'd want to hear about the van is what it's not.

"It's not 4x4"
"It doesn't have a DVD player"
"It has no cool factor whatsoever"
"It doesn't have Sto'N'go seats"

Huh? Why would I buy from a salesman that just told me what the van didn't have and what it wasn't? I want to know why I should buy this van! What is it about this thing that would appeal to me?

Sometimes I think that we are guilty of this as the collective church. I know I'm guilty of it. When we were just in the ground breaking phase of planting TXC, I was thinking about the web domain of the church. We purchased the standard www.thecrosscurrent.com as a back up but we wanted something that we could put on flyers and postcards that caught peoples' attention. The final pick was www.notyourgrandmaschurch.com. I thought it was pretty funny and as I showed the rest of my Christian ghetto friends, they all laughed too! It was a hit! (It's funnier when you imagine it said with the cheesiest salesman voice you can think of)

After previewing it with all of the Christians, I took it to my friend who doesn't go to church and would be classified as our "target". He read it over and without giving it more than a minute worth of thought, he looked up at me and said "Why would I want to know what you're not?"

Like a dagger to the chest! I was guilty! Here we were, basically bragging to people that we weren't like the church down the road with all the grandma's in it and trying to impress the people we wanted to come to our church. The bottom line...it was lame. It was a cheap attempt at getting attention and I got called out by someone who would potentially consider coming.

If we were to take this one step deeper, how many of us try to be different by showing the world what we don't do. We don't drink, dance, smoke, sleep around, party, laugh...etc. And for some reason we think that people are going to want to "sign up". We tell people what they shouldn't do because our assumption is that if they just stop doing the wrong things that they will become a better person. Is it possible that this is upside down?

Yes I do believe that behavior is important but maybe who we are affects what we do and not vice versa. Maybe we don't change what we do until there is something that happens in our hearts and changes who we are.

For instance, we talk about becoming friends with people who don't follow Christ all the time. Part of this is having an agenda but not putting it at the forefront and basing whether or not your friendship with this person will exist or not. For instance, If they don't "get saved", then you drop them. My philosophy is that if the people that I'm friends with can't visibly see something in me that is different, then it could be possible I'm off the mark. If my faith isn't contagious, then where is there a misalignment between my beliefs and my actions?

This is where doing and being come into play. If all my friends see is the things I don't do, then why would they want what I've got. Maybe it goes deeper than what we do and goes down to who we are. Are the fruit of the spirit evident in our lives? Is 1 Cor.13 something that we think is a good idea or is it something that we live out everyday, coming from who we are, not what we do? Are we living out the beatitudes in Matt.5? I think if we were becoming more like Jesus, we would want to stop doing the things that were contrary to what he wanted for us and we would be more focused on what we are for instead of what we are against. Our faith would be more positive than negative. People would start wanting what we've got.

We had an interesting conversation at our Lead Team meeting tonight. From each of our experience, churches in this area typically decrease in attendance/involvement/giving during the summer. People are away, at the beach, sleeping in, etc. Our question was do most churches slow down because it "just" happens or do they slow down because they expect it to happen or even make it happen? Is it possible that our expectations produce the results that we are expecting?

When I was a youth pastor, this was our mode of doing things. Hit it hard during the school year and take a break in the summer. Then in September, try and revive the thing again.

But what would happen if we were to actually ramp everything up in the summer? What if we were more focused in our connections area that as guests showed up they were even more blown away by our friendly atmosphere than they were during the previous few months? What if worship was even more creative and passionate? What if our creative and interactive elements to our gatherings had even more energy put into them? What if we actually grew and saw more people reconnected to Jesus in the summer than we've seen yet?

We're about to find out!

Got an email from someone in our church and the gist of it went like this

"I WANNA HELP! I WANNA HELP!...just tell me where you need me the most and I'm there...this is the church that I've chosen to tithe to...thank God there is somewhere for me to come on Sundays that speaks my language..."

I'm telling you, this is music to my ears. It's awesome to have someone who is excited and also willing to contribute to making the experience just as great for the next person who will join us for the first time.

We just started a series on Sunday called the Domino Effect and we're exploring the idea that it's impossible for us to live our lives in isolation. That it's inevitable that the decisions we make today are going to affect someone tomorrow whether we like it or not.

Yesterday we took a very real and hard look at where we are as a church. We looked at our vision for the future and where we were financially. It was a hard look because we are about 50% short each month of our small projected budget. We have some buffer because of some generous gifts that others have given over the last few months. But I don't want to be the church that can't get anything done because we always financially strapped. So we thought as a leadership team that we needed to make everyone aware of where we were. We challenged everyone to ask themselves if they were a spectator or if they were a contributor. Was this church just something they consumed and went to or was it a part of them...something they were? These are hard questions but our future depends on our answers. We are in a crucial stage right now as we go into the summer where we have got to band together and make TXC what it is going to be and not just wait for someone else to do it.

So in light of the strong challenge, getting this email and hearing other reports of how everything was recieved was a huge encouragement. Just to know that people actually believe that TXC is theirs and that the future depends on our willingness to see it become a reality, which often has hard work attached to it. We continue the series this week and I am excited to see what happens as we look at the body and which part we are.

Tomorrow is mother's day and we are honoring the mom's but we aren't having an entire gathering that revolves around mother's day. But that doesn't mean I don't love mom's.

For starters I have an awesome mom! Growing up she was my greatest fan that always pushed me to be the leader that I was. Half the time I shyed away from what she saw in me but I really do believe that I'm where I am today because she believed in me. she believed in me enough in my teens to stay up all night praying her guts out for me as she knew I'd probably be getting drunk or high right at the times she was praying. I also believe that her prayers are what got me out of that scene. I'd hate to see where I'd be without her backing me my whole life.

I also married the most amazing woman ever. I honestly scratch my head sometimes wondering how on earth I scored so huge with Bek. Not only is she hot and an amazing wife but she seriously is the most incredible mom I've ever seen in action. Yes I'm biased but just judging by everyone elses' comments on her I know I'm lucky. I struggle with impatience in a huge way but Bek always seems to keep her cool and stay level headed. She's got the biggest heart I've ever scene. She's got this sensitive side to her that allows her to empathize with people in a way that I don't even understand. So when it comes to the kids, it's no wonder they call for her when they get sick and not me:) Maybe I should work on that. She is just all around a phenomenal woman and as the years go by I couldn't be happier to have a companion that I love as much as I do her!

These last few days seem to be full of renewed realizations.

We've been hanging out with various different friends that don't go to church and don't necessarily care about God or the church. Maybe they've been "religious" in the past but at this point they couldn't be bothered. Which brings me to my realization.

God is in control, not me. When we're with them we have tons of things in common (like our obsession with UFC and camping). But at the core we are living two separate lives heading in two different destinations. So what do we do?

I've come to realize that I could sit there and talk to them about God and church (which I've done) and have them totally not want to go any further than that...then what?

This sounds so cliche but the answer is pray. Yes I know...that sounds lame. We want to have a better answer than that, especially one where we are the hero and we and we introduce them to Christ and we emerge victorious! But it's not that way and it never has been.

I can get up on Sunday morning and preach the most amazing message that moves people to tears but the Bible says that it's God who changes lives, not us. It's God that draws people to himself. It's God that opens people's hearts and minds so that He makes sense. As cool as we think we are...it just doesn't work that way. And that creates a challenge but it's also relieving at the same time when it comes to relationships with people that don't follow Jesus.

The challenge is that people don't see their need for him. No matter how much I say they need Him, if they don't see that need, then I'm wasting my time. I had someone say that to me the other night that is investigating the claims of Jesus. They said that if they weren't in a relationship with someone that is seeking God as well they probably wouldn't come to church because they don't see the need for it. I'm starting to see that my job is to pray for them but make sure I'm praying for the right things. Pray that God would help them to see their need of him. Maybe that comes from seeing my life and seeing that they are missing something. I don't know. Pray that God would prove Himself to them.

The relieving part is that it's not my job to get them saved. It's my job to make sure that I'm pointing them towards Jesus but when it comes to the actual act of salvation, that's God's job. So I can rest at night. It doesn't take the tension away but it makes me see that I'm not the star of this show and when I elevate myself to that position, usually I end up on my butt with a messed up relationship in my wake.

As a parting note, the best decision that Bek and I have made when it comes to our faith is to intentionally invest in relationships that aren't "faith based". It allows us to make sure that we are living up to what we say we believe. It keeps us on our toes with the questions that get asked (especially the ones we don't have answers to). It helps us stay in touch with what the world that we are trying to reach is thinking and values. Many times their values are far different than what we think they are as a church.

If you don't have friends that don't follow Jesus then I'd really encourage you to make some. It's not easy and a lot of times it takes you to change your mindset of getting "contaminated" by the world. Let put it this way, if you actually live out what you say you believe, you'll be fine. Most times it's the people that are unsure of what they believe that are scared of people that don't follow Jesus. Figure out what you believe, start living it and make some friends with some cool people that don't follow Jesus!

Planting a church is proving to be one of the craziest things I've ever endeavored to be a part of. It's got the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

When we first started TXC it was really easy. We were running high on energy. We were riding a wave of momentum with tons of new people coming every week. Everyone that was helping out had lots of energy and it was fun.

Now I'm not saying it's not fun anymore. It's just that the view point has changed from where I'm sitting. At first it was easy to see this as a "one hit wonder" type of thing. Where we would do our thing, serve the community and people would come flocking.

This morning I woke up.

One of the biggest pitfalls that pastors can very easily fall into is judging the success of the church they are leading on a week to week basis. I've heard people say that if you do this that you will wreck yourself. I think I've been doing this. And I've felt the pain. And it's self inflicted. Needless emotional highs and lows as I look at what happens from Sunday to Sunday instead of the big picture. Instead of 5, 10, 20, 50 years from now.

A church doesn't grow and mature over night. In the beginning I was hoping it would. Maybe because I was running from the reality of the hard work it takes in planting a church. I admit, I was completely naive coming into this. I was living in a dream world.

However...the dream is still alive and burning red hot. It's just that I've come to realize that it's not going to happen in one week. It's going to happen with one day stacking on top of the next and it's going to be hard work...where we actually do everything we can instead of just hoping it will happen.

I've realized that if I don't constantly remind myself of my need of Jesus (which comes from consistent prayer and bible study) that I won't know why we're doing what we're doing. Why does that person need Jesus? Because I know what he's done in my life and the difference that he's made. It's not because they need to come to a cool church and hear some cool church music and hear a cool church guy talk and have their kids in a cool church kids program.

It's Jesus nothing more, nothing less.

It's going to take a lot of hard work for us to see this little church grow to 1,000 (with 500 of those people being new Christ followers) in the next 5 years but I can't see us being in existence for anything other reason. If we are in it for the accolades, we may as well shut the doors. If we're in it for bragging rights, we may as well shut the doors. If we're in it for mansions and state of the art jets, we may as well as shut the doors. If we're in it for quick "success", we're lost.

I'm in this thing for the long haul. I don't care if we have 10 people at our gathering tomorrow or if we have 150. The fact is that Jesus has rocked my world and I will give my life to seeing others experience the same thing.

Today was tough at the start as a lot of us were sick. And for any theater church in the world it was a challenge because the release of SpiderMan 3 has dominated the theaters and the doors open early. With that in mind, we had a challenge. Usually I talk forever and rack up the minutes on the clock, taking us well into our overtime buffer of getting out of the theater. But this week the time frame was set for - 1 hour, no grace.

We thought it would be a stretch but in the end it was great. I actually liked having a time limit placed on me, that way I have to figure out how to say what I'm planning on saying very concisely and too the point. I even found that I had more time than I really needed (even though I occupied that time with more words :D)

It was really encouraging to see the amount of people that were helping at the end and the others that were willing to help. That seriously makes all the difference in the world because there are about 5 people that set up and take down (myself included) and it does get draining after a while.

This week we start a new series called "The Domino Effect" and it has the potential to be the most challenging series we've done yet. We are going to talk about some things that are potential hot buttons for some people but they are things we need to address and turn around if we are going to be able to start seeing our mission accomplished in this area.

As well, we have some props that need to be put together this Sunday morning. I will make them if I have to but to be perfectly honest...these things are going to be so crooked it won't be funny if I'm responsible. Simply put, we need someone that can come and pin pre-cut circles onto a 4x8 sheet of foam in the pattern of a domino! Simple! Yet we need someone to do it while the band is warming up this Sunday coming up. If you think you could pull this off for one week, please let me know ASAP.

In the meantime, our lead team is going to be meeting tomorrow night and one of the things we will talk about is what we are going to do about the time challenge on Sunday's. It's possible that we may bump the time back a few minutes to give Upstream Kids a little more grace...or not. We'll keep you posted.

Sorry for the long silence on this blog. My brain has not had a whole lot to say and then we went away this week to District Conference. It was a good chance for us to get away and just hang out as a family. We were all sick the whole time but we managed to still enjoy ourselves. However...It's so good to be back home. We slept like babies (literally and figuratively) last night and it's nice to wake up refreshed.

It's funny though...even when I go away, it's extremely hard for me to not think about our faith community...about the future...where we've come from and where we're headed. Asking the question, "How can we more effectively connect people to Jesus?"

This Sunday we finish up our series "upside down way of God" and I'm looking forward to it. It's been rough preparing for it seeing I was away this week and my head is totally cloudy from my cold but it is usually when I'm not in the picture that God gets to do stuff that he can only do.

I'm looking forward to our next series called "The Domino Effect". This is going to be a very challenging series. A couple weeks ago I was awake until 2 or 3 in the morning being convicted that I need to talk about some things regarding our faith community that may stir the pot a little bit. But if we don't go here, we may not get to the place where God wants us to be. Our dream is to influence and impact this city in a way that if we were to leave, people from our city would ACTUALLY miss us!

This series has some creative elements in it which I always enjoy. I can't wait till we can get to the place where every series is surrounded with creative elements. It helps me frame each gathering and it helps the point being communicated to resonate and make more sense to a wider range of people.

I'm excited to see where we are headed as a church! The future is as unknown to me as it is to the next person...but I love it. I love the fact that we have an idea of where we want to go but how we are going to get there is still a mystery. I love the fact that if we are going to accomplish everything we believe that God wants us to accomplish, He's gotta be at the forefront or it will fail.

So God, take the wheel of this ship! We are going into uncharted territory and I don't have a clue to get us through it except to listen to Your voice and go where you tell us to go. Some days it scares the snot out of me because my insecurities manage to rise to the surface and take control. But I know this is your dream. I'd be a fool to think that I could plant a church by my own ability and see it reach people. This is your church, not mine. It's about Your kingdom, not mine. These are Your people, not mine. I submit my dreams for what I think this church should look like. Take us where you want us to go...