Contagion

I just gotta say, I am stoked to have Dave as our lead worshipper. He is extraordinarily talented when it comes to figuring out songs and leading in a way that is edgy yet sensitive. Sometimes he underestimates himself but I'm stoked to see how God is going to use him in the future. The dream for this faith community is huge and at times it can be a little overwhelming but when the time comes I know he'll be given what it will take to excel. On top of that he is an awesome friend and there is nothing like having people you can trust working as hard as you to fulfill the dream. This one goes out to "The Bernster jr."!

Last night was one of those nights. Every so often I have periods of time where I can feel/sense the spiritual war going on around me. I get kind of depressed and start thinking about what all the people in my city are doing with their lives. And that usually leads to a feeling of being alone and hopeless. The whole thing is quite depressing actually. It's like I take on the weight of what someone who doesn't know Jesus would feel. I'm sure this whole financial thing was in there somewhere too.

So I just went out on the picnic table and prayed. In these times I don't know what else to do. And usually my prayers are quite lame because I don't know what to pray either. But in the stillness of the cool night I heard God say, "It's okay. I've got you where I want you". Man, that's just what I need to hear. When I think I'm going insane and I have no control over anything, to be reminded that I am a part of a larger dream than I can ever fully know is relieving.

I think I like to try and figure God out. I like having answers - probaly because it gives me control. But the more I realize who God is, the more I realize that I can't fully know Him. And that's a good thing. If I could fully know Him, He wouldn't be that big of a God. It's that mystery that motivates me to keep searching. It's His gradueur that makes me okay with the fact that I don't have the answers I think I need.

I hate to admit this, but I like being in control. I like knowing what's going on and having a say in the direction we're headed. It's not something that is unbridled and running wild as I dominate everyone within my sphere of influeunce. However, I have to make a concerted effort to relax. I'm not a huge fan of driving as a passenger. When Bek is driving she wants to kill me (even though I feel like she is gonna kill the both of us).

In comes that little voice you hear and love to ignore. It's the voice that I distinctly heard telling me not to buy my Macbook, at which time I promply slid my Visa across the glass in complete defiance. It's that voice where you don't know if it's you or "something else" (maybe God?!) That voice proved to be right when I cracked my screen and just recently re-sold the mac on ebay for $1,000 cheaper than the purchase price just 3 weeks later!

So this morning, I'm on my way out to the van to head off to the bank in an effort to get my line of credit raised when "the voice" speaks up. All I hear/feel is "don't do it". DANG IT! You know what this means don't you? It means I can't be in control (I'm not sure where I got the idea that I was in control by getting thousands of dollars loaned to me by some bank). So I stood by my driver side window, thinking. And in an effort to defy that voice once more, I unlocked the van. At least that's why I attempted to do. Instead, I re-locked it. At this point, I just started laughing (a nervous laugh) and walked back inside.

It's funny how money gives you that sense of control and power. And I guess, in a sense, it's real. You are able to get people to do things they normally wouldn't do when you wave a fat stack of bills in front of their face. (Just look at Fear Factor). This may be why God says that where our treasure lies is where our heart can be found and that it's impossible to serve both God and money. The opposite of serving God is not serving Satan, it's living for money. That's why Jesus says it's harder for a rich man to get into heaven; there's more competing for his allegiance.

So did I pass the test? I don't know. What I do know is that when I let this beast of uncertainty gain ground, I start freaking out. I want something to get me into the drivers seat. I want to call the shots cause I think I'm pretty good at it. (Way to go hotshot!) I doubt I passed the test but I hope I'm in the midst of passing. Because this is God's dream, I think he's getting me to the place where I can't rise to the top and steal the fame. There will be no allstar pastor that is building his own empire because there is nothing to build it with. The only explanation will be "It had to be God!"

This is all God's and I can't wait to see what unfolds (hopefully soon:>)

I honestly can't believe that I got to marry the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. It sounds sappy and cheesy but I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Most people will admit that when Bek walks into a room, the place lights up. She just has this charisma about her that shines. Her faith is so key to keep me going strong. Anytime I'm starting to lose sight of God's dream she comes in and brings perspective to the situation. She is always positive and looking at the fun side of life. She loves our kids like there is no tomorrow. Everyone around her will admit that she is a phenomenal mom and our kids are blessed to have them around most of the day and not me! She is super patient with me as a pig of a man. I'm so inconsiderate some times and forget to put her before me and yet she just keeps putting up with me. We were just at Walmart and I can say that I was so proud to be walking beside her. Perry Noble has a great post that just reiterates everything I feel about pastors and their wives. She will ALWAYS come first, no matter what.

The bottom line: Getting married is the best thing I ever chose to do and having the most beautiful woman to spend the rest of my life with makes just that much better ;)

I have to remind myself daily that this is God's church and dream, not mine. If it was mine, I'd be screwed. I think I have to go to the bank tomorrow to raise my line of credit so I can pay off my visa and possibly put the remainder of the sound system on it! Haha...it's almost comical (kindof). Sometimes I wanna freak out but at the same time I'm at complete peace because I know that God has us right where he wants us.

Bek made a wise observation today. We haven't been able to find a basement suite in Mission since our first suite fell through. We know that the first one will be available in the New Year but we are getting kind of anxious. Anyways, she said that maybe all of these were falling through because God knew that we would need the money we would have spent on our new rent for the crazy times of planting this church.

Maybe we did things a little backwards, maybe not. It's too late now and we are full steam ahead. We are doing exactly what we feel God leading us to do, as insane as it might be. A friend told me the other day that most church plants start with 10 people in a living room. The fact that we started with 65 in a theatre is backwards. People are getting excited. The launch team is amped. The buzz is picking up around Mission. Our goal is to have 100 committed people by our launch date on January 14 but our dream would be to see 300 people crammed into the largest theatre.

There is absolutely no way I'm going to let a little bit of money deficit get me discouraged and thinking that we aren't going to make it. This is just the beginning of what God is going to do through us. I really think that in the very near future we are going to be really blessed financially so that we can make a massive mark on this community that leaves them asking questions about God.

Matt. 6:25-34. That's my mantra these days.

Does following Jesus have to suck? I mean really...c'mon! Does it have to amount to just following a bunch of rules and being bored out of your mind? Our fifth core value at TXC is "Life Altering Adventure". Everytime I mention this to someone their eyes light up. We all know what following Jesus could be like, we just don't know how to get there.

When I look at the disciples , who they were and what they got to see Jesus do, the whole thing is just unbelievable. You've got all of these misfits that work 9-5 jobs either gutting fish or cleaning out peoples' pockets and Jesus comes along and tells them all that they can be just like him. So here are these dudes that have just left their mundane jobs that are going nowhere to follow Jesus. They follow him everywhere and get to see him do some of the most insane things that anyone in that time had ever seen.

What I find hard to believe is that every time they saw him perform a miracle they just sat there with stone cold faces as if they had seen this bag of tricks too many times before. I have a hard time believing that these guys were bored. I have a hard time believing that they didn't have an adrenaline rush or 10. We just don't see a whole lot of reactions in the gospels but I'd be willing to bet that these guys were freaking out! When Jesus fed the 5,000, I can see them just rubbing their eyes over and over trying to wake up from this crazy dream they were having. When the blind saw and lame got up and walked, you can't tell me that they weren't running around in wonder.

There's just something that isn't clicking with people when we talk about these things in a way that communicates "it wasn't much". I know we don't think that way but I don't think I've let it grip me enough. I'm not sure I know who Jesus really was or is today.

Following Jesus is supposed to be the biggest life altering adventure that we could ever embark on. It's one that is loaded with mystery, challenge, adrenaline rushes, risk, failure, success, blind leaps of faith and ultimately a freedom that can't be found in any other place on the earth. Following Jesus is supposed to give you those butterflies in your stomach as you step out and do something that you never thought you were able to do but because of the mission you are on and the God that backs you, it's possible. It's not easy, but possible. Comfort is the death of the church. Jesus is leading us to go into some pretty crazy places and circumstances and I'm telling you, we are going. I cannot stay stuck in the ghetto where everything is prim and proper and in it's place. There is a messed up world that needs to see the real Jesus and it's going to take someone who is willing to take him there. I'm in...are you?

Today gave me hope for the reasoning behind me not getting a job during this prep. phase for our launch in January. For some reason I feel like I'm not supposed to get a job and that makes me look unmotivated and lazy. It looks like I'm not seizing opportunities but I feel like this is prime time for me to be connecting with people.

For the last little while I've been trying to work on "friendliness". Yes, I know. I look like a grouch and I'm ticked off most of the time. But I'm not. I guess I've just lived so much of my life not smiling that it doesn't come natural. Tim Sanders says that people need to lower their standards for smiling, so that's what I'm trying to do. And my attempts have been quite successful.

I have to admit, I am not a fan of meeting new people. It scares me. I'm not good at starting converstions and don't have that natural charisma that some people do when it comes to guiding the conversation. It usual ends up with me looking like a deer caught in the headlights, breaking out in a cold sweat and my mouth drying up, all leading up to the climax of me looking like a total freak. The people that freak me out the most are the people that look like me, grouchy and angry.

So today was my first trial with a replica of me. He sits in Starbucks every morning and drinks 3 cups of coffee or more, with the equivalent in super sized water cups. He works night shift and looks like he hates me. And I'm sure I look like I hate him. Well, this morning I figured that friendly people always initiate conversation so that's what I did. I said "hey, how's it going." Way to go all star! What a big talker you are! You're so friendly (sense the sarcasm in this self bashing). So now I feel like an idiot. He was friendly back, but that's where it stopped....for the moment.

All of a sudden he speaks up! Then he won't stop talking! We're talking about God, reincarnation, cats with spirits that go to heaven, his dating life and the list goes on and on! I couldn't believe it. I was tempted to let my old school pentecostal side come out and tell him he's going to hell if he doesn't repent today. TURN OR BURN SUCKER! But I refrained. I just listened. And now I bet when I go in there tomorrow to try and get some work done, I won't get an ounce done.

Is it possible that a Christian who listens to other peoples' stories and doesn't bash them and shove God down their throat could be contagious? This guy knows who Jesus is. He just chooses to believe everything else too. I have to believe that when Jesus says "seek and you will find", that he meant it. I've made it my priority to live contagiously around this guy and lead him (without him even knowing it) to ask, seek and knock. Maybe, just maybe, my God is big enough to open the door without me kicking it down for him.

Sometimes I think that I focus too much on what I shouldn't be rather than what I should be. My whole life I've heard that "Christians don't do this, this, this, or that" I preach that people need to see a difference in our lives so we shouldn't do this, this, this or this. My question is why would anyone want to be a part of something when all they hear is what we don't do?

I would never buy a Starbucks of all they did was tell me what they weren't. That isn't attractive at all. Starbucks is contagious. When someone gets sold on their brand, they spread the word like wildfire. My friend Will Kliewer sold me on Starbucks. I hated it. It tasted burnt to me. Then he started to explain what Starbucks was. He showed me that there were over 30 flavors of coffee. He boasted about how Starbucks always hires cheerful people that make you feel like a million bucks. He bragged about how their coffee is a delicate thing and that they throw out their old coffee after an hour. Not once did he slam Tim Hortons. I was sold. He was contagious. He had experienced first hand the beauty of Starbucks and so he could communicate with clarity what it was, not what it wasn't.

I once had a really wise friend tell me at the beginning of this church planting adventure "People don't care what you aren't, they care who you are." That statement revolutionized my thinking about a lot of stuff. The reality is that most people don't give a rip about God or church and so me trying to live my life not doing a whole list of things isn't going to change their mind.

What would happen if we focused on Jesus? What if, instead of telling people what not to do, we encouraged them to become more like Jesus? Instead of not getting angry, we tell them to start practicing long suffering. Or instead of not getting stressed out, we encourage them to practice peace. Or instead of not getting hammered, we say fall in love with Jesus and leave the results up to him.

I look at myself and think that I've become more of a Pharisee than I would like to admit. I like being the guy that decides who's in and who's out. I like pushing morality because it gives me a gauge in which to judge people by. You aren't watching pornography anymore - good. You aren't swearing anymore - good. You aren't drinking anymore - good. Ooops....you slipped. Now you get a detention until you learn your lesson. And I get so caught up in this game that I forget to fall in love with Jesus so nothing else matters in life.

I honestly believe that as I fall in love with Jesus I will love the things he loves and hate the things he hates. My perception on life will completely change. The problem is that there is no way to guage "how in love with Jesus" a person is. So that means there is no need for Pharisees anymore. And if that's true, I either find a new job or I start falling in love with Jesus.

If we were to start being about Jesus and stop being against everything else in the world, I truly believe that we would see a movement of epidemic proportions start to spread. We would be so contagious that nothing could keep from getting infected. So maybe we need to figure out what we are for, stop freaking out about what we are against and let Jesus do what he does best.

(Warning: ridiculously long rant coming up and it's geared towards me. This is an exhale of thoughts and criticisms of my faith and supposed Jesus I've followed for a very long time.)

It has become my morning office and as I'm sitting here I'm evesdropping on a manager training a new barista. She is going over the values and conduct of barristas. I'm telling you that she is getting me fired up about starbucks. Heck, I've already had a coffee but now I want another one! She is talking about their values being Passion, Integrity, Respect and a few other ones. She is definitely passionate and if I was ever to get a job in the marketplace it would be at Starbucks (if they would let me have Sundays off)

Here's the million dollar question: Why is it so hard for us to be as contagious as this manager is about Starbucks when it comes to Jesus. If there was ever someting for us to get amped up about it's him. This is just a stinkin coffee shop and yet people would rather be here than encountering Jesus in a life altering way. Most people walk into church and want to fall asleep. It's become a tradition; just something we do cause we've always done it. Then they encounter us and there is nothing contagious about us. They are basically doing what we do (minus church) so why do they need God. They give more blood, help the needy more, take care of the environment better and the list goes on. We've got so consumed with what music we are singing and how everyone is dressed that there is nothing to offer anyone except a Jesus that sits in the pew next to them and snoozes as the pastor preaches way too long about something that doesn't make sense. (the preacher is me)

I think I have misinterpreted Jesus for far too long as a long haired sensitive man that holds sheep and carries children on his back all day long. I'm sure he did hid fair share of this but there is so much more. The longer I've been a Christian, the more I lose sight of the Kingdom of God and it turns into the kingdom of Dan. I lose sight of the militant nature of the kingdom of God. I lose sight of the revolution. Of how Jesus walks into a culture and turns it on it's head. The religiuos leaders go nuts! He never once yells at a "sinner" like we see so often on street corners or in front of abortion clinics. Yet he flips on the religious people. On me. And tells me I've got it all wrong. Wow.

So now what? I have GOT to live a contagious life that provokes people to ask quesions about Jesus. I have got to follow the Jesus of the bible that sparks a revolution - an epidemic - and not the JEsus of my Christian ghetto that tells me I'm okay and that it's fine to sit and wait for the "sinners" to come to me.

So where are the Christ followes that are going to purge themselves of the tired religion that puts people to sleep, put on a Starbucks apron as it were and start the spread of something in this region that people have never seen before? I'm in...are you

(Rant over)

I had a conversation with a fellow pastor today and he read a book where the author was asked a question by a friend,"If I never choose to follow your Jesus, will you still be my friend?" Yikes. I'm still not sure what I think of that statement. I don't have any answers, just questions, so don't freak out.

I do know a few things (well, maybe only one). When I chose to follow Jesus, my life became about something other than myself. I had a mission: connecting the disconnected to Him. What I'm not sure about is if I can ever disconnect myself from that mission. If a friend says that they won't believe in my Jesus, that's fine. I won't pressure them or even talk about them. But when my life stops being contagious in a way that they can see that something is different about me, I think I may have lost sight of my mission. I will still be his friend, but I can't disconnect myself from the mission that I am on. I will still have to be living an intentionally provocative life that points to Jesus so my friend can know the freedom that I have. If I had the cure to cancer would I want my friend with cancer to have it? Would you?

So I guess my answer to that question is, yes. I will still be his friend. And I have to have enough faith that by contagiously living my whole life for Jesus a firestorm of questions will be ignited that cause him to search for the answers. And I have to have enough faith in God that he can provide those answers.

I can't remember if it was Kem Meyer from Granger community church or Seth Godin. Maybe Kem was quoting Seth. Whatever. The conversation was about word of mouth marketing and how it is simply the most powerful tool for marketing a business. The problem is that many businesses don't give anyone anything to talk about.

I wonder if the same could be said for churches. Could it be that we are doing nothing to cause people to ask questions about who we are? Could it be that we lead lives that are almost identical to our next door neighbors? Could it be that people in our churches are bored? Could it be that we may not know why we believe what we say we believe? Could it be that we are misrepresenting Jesus?

I wonder...

Well today I list my mac on ebay. I just can't get my head around the fact that I just bought this thing and I have to pay more for something already paid for. Make sense? So I'm gonna try and sell it for $450 with a broken screen. If someone knows how to fix it or has access to cheap screens this is a screamin' deal. Maybe it's you. Drop me a line if you want it.

...if any of us have this thing figured out. The day I say that I have "church" figured out, you can shoot me. It just seems to me that so many people think they have figured it out. Some are continuing to do things the way they always have and they will never change. Other have started a house church and feel like they have figured it out. And others are just taking an old concept and revamping it to look cooler. And then there are those of us that are pretty much taking the third option but also revitalizing the philosophy of who the church was made to be. But do we have it figured out? And is what we're doing "better" than the next church?

In my opinion, if what you are doing is propelling people to be more effective missionaries during the week, the form that your church takes on whatever day of the week you choose to meet doesn't really matter. If the people in your faith community are really being missionaries, then people will be getting connected to Jesus and you will be doing what you are called to.

I think any kind of church can get stuck just thinking about themselves. It takes a very intentional leader to guide a church to stay out of that ghetto, no matter what form you choose. It could be 10 of you meeting in a living room and it so quickly can get inward focused. Or it could be 4,000 in multiple locations and all you care about is what happens on Sunday.

The point is this: the church is the embodyment of Christ in the world. If we aren't in the world, then how will people see Jesus? We all take an hour or two out of each week to meet together. What really matters is what happens during the other 166 hours of the week.

I find it hard to think that starting a church that is solely focused on Jesus and connected people to him is a new concept. And yet, every time I tell someone our mission (connecting the disconnected to Jesus - nothing new), their eyes light up. Could it be possible that a lot of churches have lost sight of our original mission as a church? Could it be that a lot of churches have got a little bit too comfortable and started to that the church exists for them?

I know that I've been challenged with this. Around 2 years ago I started to feel really uneasy with my concept of what the church existed for. It had become a weekly tradition that was solely for those who were Christians. We then invited people who didn't know Jesus into our ghetto to become one of us. The concept of integrating into their world first was completely foreign to me.

And then came the realization that the church doesn't exist for itself. That was huge because it completely revolutionized my perception of what happens on Sunday. My interpretation was that it was a time to make Christians understand how much Jesus loved them and it stopped there. But as time went on I began to realize that it just can't end there. If it does, we are hopeless.

Sunday is just a small function of what the church is and yet it gets blown into being the sum of everything the church is. In the eyes of the world, this is a hard perception to change. And yet it has to happen. One of the ways I see this happening is changing the focus of Sundays in a few different ways.

The first is that we have to begin to view everything we do through the eyes of a missionary. Missionaries have to sacrifice their preferences in order to reach the people they are trying to connect to Jesus. This is hard to do but it is a must. We need to start leveraging the things that people in the culture understand so that we can communicate in a way they understand. I know I'm infuriating some of you right now...I'm okay with that.

The second is that we have to change the focus of Sunday mornings so that it leads to the rest of the week. My experience has been that Sunday was the end of the week for a Christian. The world is a tough place to live in and by the end of the week, all you want to do is be back in church. This is fine to a certain extent. If it means that all you do is live for Sunday, it's wrong. If it means that you can't wait to get to church to tell everyone what God did this last week and collectively dream about what the next one could look like, I'm in. My interpretation was that Sunday was a pep rally for Christians to make them feel better. But the way I see it now is that Sunday functions as a catalyst to be resent. And the resending part needs to be intentional. As soon as we start assuming people know they are being resent, they stop going.

Bottom line: Everything we do needs to be about connecting the disconnected to Jesus...even Sunday.

Well I'm just testing something out for our church to see if this is going to work or not. We are going to start podcasting our messages once we figure out how to make it actually work. At this point there is nothing but a song that is posted illegally because I had no other audio to upload. So click this for me and let me know if this is going to work or not.


If you are not familiar with itunes, let me explain. You first have to download the program. It's available in windows and mac. Then when you click this link you will be given the option to subscribe. Once you subscribe, you will automatically get the podcast directly sent to your computer whenever you open up itunes. So all the work is done at the beginning and at the click of a button you will be able to listen to our messages. I'm not sure if this will benefit anyone or not but all the cool people are doing it so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon in an attempt to be cool. Personally, I hate the sound of my voice when it's recorded so my feelings won't be hurt if no one downloads it! I guess it just gives more options for people to get connected to our faith community. Maybe it will give people a taste of who we are before them come and check us out live. Nonetheless, it's there and we'll upload our next gatherings' message as soon as Oct.15 comes and goes.

Wow...it's even hard to put words to it. I'm so stinkin' proud of our launch team! I couldn't even think of taking credit for the success of this. Every single one of them poured their heart into this and it showed.

The music was absolutely insane! It's been a very long time since I've sen musicianship like that. The guys practiced like mad banchees and it was evident. The quality was incredible and their hearts were fully into it. I have had incessant comments on how incedible they were. I had tons of people comment on how awesome the videos behind the lyrics were too (All Dave). Wow...I'm amazed.

The vibe in the theatre was amazing. I had so many people tell me that they have been looking for this for a very long time. They felt they could be themselves and just let their guard down and relax.

I felt good because it was my first shot at employing a new method of teaching where I memorize everything I'm going to say via mindmapping. It was absolutely incredible for me. Not a page of notes and I delivered everything I needed to say and more in under a half hour.

The connections team was superb! Charlene did an amazing job at choosing the right people. They were friendly, informed and actually talked with the guests! What a novel concept! People enjoyed the complimentary starbucks and i think it just added to our vibe.

I wasn't with the kids but I heard (from all the kids yapping about it afterwards) that she rocked the show with them. I honestly could not think of a better person to work with the kids. She is so high energy and has such a deep passion to see kids experience the love of Jesus at a young age that it's contagious. I'm stoked to see what happens with "Upstream" in the very near future.

Our graphics were all made by Donavan and they just flat out rock! They communicate exactly who we are and are high quality.

Okay! So there you have it. If you weren't our last one you should check out the next sneak preview on Oct.15 @ 10am in Theatre #1. Bring some friends that don't have a church with you as well!

I find out tomorrow if my mac is toast or not. I've decided that if it is, I'm not getting it fixed and I'm gonna smash it to pieces. Then I'm gonna stick it in a box and ship it to Apple and explain the situation that the thing was 3 weeks old and the screen cracked under a tiny bit of pressure, something a pc laptop would never do. I'll also ask for them to let Steve know he can shove it where the sun don't shine.

I know, I know...it's childish. I'm just so choked that I couldn't imagine getting it fixed and giving Stevo another thousand just to have a computer. The fact is that I love macs' operating system. I was a die hard until this happened. Now billy bob looks like he's getting my allegiance once again.

I promise I'll post my thoughts about our first gathering tomorrow...I think.

I think I may just hate macs! I went to open my screen on Friday and cracked my screen! Now, unless I have super powers and can crush screens, this should NOT have happened! So it's in the shop and I'll find out if I can get it covered on Tues. Apple rarely covers screen but I'm hoping that because it's only 3 weeks old that something will happen in my favor.

BUT because of that, I can't blog on my new blog! So if you are reading this it's because you didn't know I had a new blog. And the reason I can't blog on my new blog is because for some stupid reason iweb on macs only lets you access your blog from YOUR computer! What?! Doesn't make any sense whatsoever but that's the way it is.

So I'm ticked about that but stoked about our first ever gathering today as a new church! I'll try and update you tomorrow (if you even read this) cause I gotta grab some dinner.

Peace

The last one was broken and I can't fix it cause I'm mac illiterate. Try this

I'm sorry to do this to the faithful few that read my blog, but I'm changing once again. I seem to get pretty discontent rather quickly when it comes to technological web stuff. What I want to do is integrate my blog in with our new website (coming soon) and I'm going to do this by using iweb and .mac. So for my new blog go here . From there you can subscribe to the feed. Soon we will have podcasts, videos and pictures from TXC on there as well.

Well it's official! After a weekend of experiencing a horrendous learning curve, I love my mac. It took some time to see what all the hype is about. At one point I thought I made a huge mistake and almost either took it back or if that didn't work, re-sell it. This was while trying to install bootcamp. Anywyas, I made it through and it's so simple now. And the applications are awesome. I think I'm going to give .mac a shot and see how it goes.

I think Christians talk about faith as if it's this lovey dovey type thing; like there is nothing hard about it. "Just have faith".

I have never had to have as much faith in God as I do right now. It seems like my whole life is lying in the balance of God's provision and if he doesn't come through, I'm hooped.

And as far as I can tell there is nothing lovey dovey or comfortable about it. It's tense. It's mysterious. It strips me of all control and to tell you the truth, this drives me nuts some days. The future is uncertain and I feel extremely vulnerable.

The funny thing about it is that I wouldn't have it any other way. It sucks sometimes cause I'd like to be able to have some certainty in my life, but I still would trade it. The way I see it is that I've got two choices: Faith or comfort. I've seen the destruction that comfort can do in a Christians' life. It leaves wakes of disaster as they sit in a world of selfishness and regret. I could choose that. I've done it before and I can't let it happen again. I have to risk. I have to trust. I have to be oedient. I have to blaze a new trail. tI have to step into the unknown and see a story unfold that no one has ever seen before because only I can unleash it. It's not comfortable but as far as I can tell, it's the only place where life is meant to be lived.

Okay...so I either just discovered the best kept secret or my worst nightmare...Mac! I'm so freakin confused! It's either going to just take some time to get used to or I just made a huge mistake!

As the date gets closer (Sept.17) everything seems to be building up. We've been dreaming and planning for 6mos but that has all been on paper. Now everything has to be turned into a reality and we are seeing where some of our holes are. I'm just gonna throw these out there because maybe someone in this web will say "Hey, I can do that". I know beggers can't be choosers but obviously we prefer amazing over not-so-amazing-but-think-or-wish-I-was. Here goes:

• Musicians (Drummers, Bass Players, Keyboards, Electric/Acoustic guitar, DJ)
  

• Graphic designers (preferably people with web experience.)

• Animators (sounds huge but we are looking for loops to be created to accompany our series' graphic to be displayed on the movie screen behind us. It would also be nice to have countdowns created as well)

• Sound Engineers (We have not yet found someone to mix sound for us. If this is you and you are looking for a church, please contact us quickly. One request would be that these people be some sort of musicians so that their ear for music is there and not just the technical side of things)

• VJ's (Every week we will be showing video on the screen as well as displaying lyrics. This will soon move into switching between video cameras as well. This person has to be on the ball and also have an artistic bent to them.)

• Video Camera Guru's (We don't have cameras yet, but when we do we would like to make the best decision. And then when we have them we'd like to be able to have competent operators/editors behind them. We also want to move into shooting short films for our gatherings. The door is wide open on this one. We need creative people that can dream big dreams.
  

• Creative Geniuses (One of the elements to our gatherings that we value highly is creativity. It's not so that we can be showy but we really believe that learning happens in multiple ways and we want to try and employ as many as them as we can. We need people to be a part of the creative process. We need someone to lead the creative team. We need people to build props and design the stage. If you are this type of person and have no place as an outlet, drop me a line!
  

• Upstream Kids (Our kids are one of the most important parts of TXC. We are always looking for fun, energetic and caring adults to work with kids. We'll need to get a criminal record check done but if that isn't a problem, we can use you.

Okay. I think that's it. If you couldn't sense the desperation in my "writing tone", reread the post. Lots of this stuff will come over time but I sure would like to have my cake and eat it too. Even if you don't do any of these things, we are sure we can find you place to fit. And even if you don't feel comforable helping yet, just come. Be yourself. Find your place in The CrossCurrent.